She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
i out mim tonsoeep
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
