And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
