i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
