exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
