Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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