You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Randomize
