she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
