how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
