can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
