i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
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