Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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