I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
