my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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