just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
