five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
