I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
