I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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