she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
