Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
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