I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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