I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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