She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
