discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
