Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
