My brain says no but my pants say off.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Randomize
