She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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