She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
