awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
