Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
