I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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