I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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