i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
