But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I stole a fireplace last night.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
