they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
