i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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