is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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