i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
