I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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