You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
