I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
