So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
