Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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