I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
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