if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
