alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
