you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
