just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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