best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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