We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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