does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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