Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
